Movie Mashup 1 : Ali G is Django Unchained

Texas, in the year 1858, several male slaves are being driven by the Speck Brothers, Ace and Dicky. Among the shackled slaves is Ali Django, who was sold off and separated from his julie, Broomhilda. They encounter Dr King Schultz, who quickly kills the Speck Brothers and frees Ali Django because he claims: "There could possibly be a movie made about him".

Chains were once his friends.

Ali Django partners with Schultz through the winter and becomes his apprentice and they go about collecting bounties on many many white people. Ali Django is amazed at Dr King Schultz' intelligence and tenacity. Ali Django warms Dr King Schultz' heart by telling him the story of his julie, Broomhilda von Shaft, and Dr King Schultz feels they must rescue her because he is German, and she has a German sounding name. Dr King Schultz also reveals that his full name is Dr King Professor Mister Schultz and he explains that his parents were English teachers who loved English job titles.

The two decide to free Broomhilda from Candieland, the home of the brutal and hot-headed Calvin Candie.

My hair's on fire

Ali is really happy, so he does a rap on the spot:

Me name be Ali D-g

Gonna trick Monsieur Calvin Candie,

Rescue me bitch from slavery

Gonna get me back dat punani.

Upon arriving at the Candieland, staunchly loyal senior house slave, Stephen, becomes suspicious. He insults Ali Django the way Samuel Motherfucking Jackson would. "Enough is enough, I've had it with these motherfucking plot contrivances in this motherfucking film".

I will slap a bitch

Ali Django was dissed and that made him pissed, so he did another rap directed at Stephen.

Yo Stephen , you enjoying oppressing your people,

Live in the white house, but you not their equal.

Gonna shoot out your kneecap coz you is evil,

Ham it up Stephen, you wont be in the sequel.

At dinner that night, Stephen deduces that Ali-Django and Broomhilda knew each other previously. Stephen alerts Candie, who's jimmies are severely rustled and threatens the company at gunpoint. He also does a monologue on his brand of Eugenics in which he explains to the company why black men will always make good servants.

Eugenics: I has a skull

Ali Django is intrigued

After threatening to bash in Broomhilda's skull, Calvin successfully extorts $12000,00 from Dr King Schultz in exchange for her life.

Nobody makes me bleed my own blood. 

Stop... Hammer Time.

After the money is paid and the paperwork signed, Candie demands a formal handshake from Schultz to finalize the deal. Schultz, disgusted at an earlier display of a runaway slave being treated like a Scooby snack, shoots Calvin through the heart with a concealed weapon. Dr King Schultz dies at the hands of a henchman and Ali Django kills many of the remaining henchmen in an ensuing gun battle but surrenders once Broomhilda is taken hostage at gunpoint.

Westside is bestside

Ali miraculously escapes somehow using weed and car batteries and his homies whom he whatsapp'd for help. Returning to Candieland Ali Django releases Broomhilda from her cell. When Candie's mourners return from his funeral, Ali guns down Candie's remaining henchmen and Candie's sister.He then shoots Stephen in the knees, crippling him.

Not the Knees, ARRRRRRGHHHH

Ali ignites dynamite he has planted throughout the mansion and leaves Stephen to be killed. He and Broomhilda watch from a distance as the mansion explodes before riding off into the night with with his homies rapping together:

Check it. Dis be mah Julie Broomhilda,

Rescued from Candieland before them crackers killed ha

They all shot at me because I was black,

Niggaz wasn’t ready for da Ali D-g attack. 

Booyakasha.