League of Legends: Have Fun

I have started playing this online game called League of Legends.Now usually, I cant stand games where you have to play in a team... coz I dont trust no one. You hear me Donnie Brasco! I don't trust no-one , nothing, no-how. You Sunnavabish, I kill you for what you do to Lefty!

Look at him there, plotting where he's going to sink the knife

Anyway this game is different, because its super fun and addictive despite the trust issue.

Basic rundown: League of Legends is a game that is played by people on the internet. These internet people forms teams of 3 or five and each internet person  controls a  champion. The point of the game is to run using your team of champions into the base of the opposing team and destroy it. Champions all have different spells, abilities and types of attacks which you can use to try and kill opposing teams champions and their buildings. Additionally, champions can buy items such as armor and magical staffs to increase their various attacks and resistances. Champions are able to earn gold to buy these items by "farming", that is killing the opposing teams minions which spawn in waves every few seconds, and also by killing opposing champions, neutral monsters which are parked in certain areas, and opposing buildings. Simple?

Am I even doing anything?

Champions

There are over 100 champions to choose from, each with specific advantages and disadvantages. LOL is unique however in that some champions are designed overpowered, and left that way for years  because, hey, we all want to relive being Gon in Tekken 3.

I like how he has to go on tip toes to make a poof.

So basically these characters can destroy your entire team if you let them farm enough. Isn't that a hallmark of genuine and well thought out game-making? However, it does make it so much sweeter when you use your normal character to severely put the beatdown on these overpowered characters. A few examples of normal characters are:


Annie

Annie is a little girl who is also a powerful fire sorceress. Her main abilities include shooting fire at you, shooting conical fire at you, surrounding herself in a circle of fire and throwing her teddy bear, Tibbers (on fire) at you, Beware though, for, once said teddy bear arrives it transforms into a mighty pedobear, capable of swiping other champions to death with large meaty club arms. Tibbers is so cool, when i play with Annie and Tibbers is ready to use I jump out of my seat and go running through the house screaming " YAAAAAAAAAY, TIBBBBBBBBBBEEERS!"

Tibbers, about to rape a Navi'

Tibbers makes the Annie dress up sometimes too

Gangplank

Hes a PIRATE!!!!! OMGOMGOMG

You get to effect a pirates accent while shooting people with your pistol and watching their life disappear. Gangplank wastes no time. One shot would have ended Captain Phillips. In addition, Gangplank always stays healthy and eats a a shit-ton of oranges because they cure the scurvy, and... every other affliction known to man or beast in LOL. It works like a get out of jail card in Monopoly, jail in this case being death in all its forms. Pirates for the win.

Eat your oranges. it keeps you alive

Also, as Gangplank, you gets all the booty. Gangplank loves teh booty.

Spot the Pirate, LoL edition

Zilean

Look at this old ass bitch. Possibly the most useless champion in all of league, relatively.

He puts bombs on your head that takes a few seconds to explode. Also he has a  die-move in that if you're about to kill him, he can bring himself back to life. This is easily countered, in that if you do see him use his die-move, don't kill him, wait for it to wear off, and then kill him. Or if you want to rub in how useless he is, kill him while he has die-move, wait for him to come back to life, then kill him again. The only problem is that in addition to die-move he has fast-move and slow-move, in that he can speed himself up and slow you down to make his escape to his friends, just like the old-ass bitch he is.

Please refer to the short explanatory video below:

League of Non-stop Drama

As with any online game where cooperation or interaction is required, the whole thing goes tits up. LOL has gained the reputation for having some of the most toxic players of any online game community, with a community reporting system, and a ban on toxic players not really doing much to stem the tide of jackasses who play LOL. 

Some common insults include:

Uninstall you faggot noob

I hope your mother gets cancer

Why don't you kill yourself

You &*%* (insert expletive)

You retard, jerkoff, useless twat abortion waste.

And these are just the ones I have used since I started playing this morning.

Someone's not having a good day.

Despite all its issues, LoL is really good fun, its free (but you can always purchase new skins and items for champs with real money if you feel frisky), and you can play with and make new friends! Just try not to rage  too hard when you get killed in under 5 seconds by some overpowered jacKASS WHO DID NOTHING BUT FARMED THE WHOLE GAEM< BUT STILL STUNS YOU THEN KNOCKS YOU UP THEN MAKES YOUR HEALTH BAR FUCKING DISAPPEAR  BY ONLY CLICKING ON YOUR HEAD, WITHOUT REQUIRING ANY FLUCKING SKILL< IS THIS WHAT YOU CALL GAME DESIGN YOU MOTHERFUCKERS???????@@@@@@< I HATE THIS FUCKING GAME GODDDAMMIT HOLY FUCKING SON OF A WHORE NKJDjlkh=sdfjskdjfhoiawhefbnffffffffffffffllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllsdlfhnbsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssshjeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

RB