Random Thought Circus- I just had a view from Saudi Arabia!

Why does this post exist? Because it chooses to. 

• GMO fruit makes fruit bigger yes, therefore there’s more to eat yum yum yum. Not the bug repellent though. Food standards are on the decline anyway. I mean look at the one time they advertised tomato sauce as having 36 tomatoes in one bottle. Highly doubtful I say. I mean how you even fit one tomato through the tiny opening on top.

This is the shit we have to deal with because of science

• Moles are horrible, they burrow and eat all the veggies people plant.
• Gingerism! Is that a thing now? I like Gingers I will not lie, but only if they have freckles and large bosoms. 

Is there a point? No. There are two.

• I don’t know if it would be awful not to have a shower- I mean you can always buy that shower attachment thing for the bathtub and pretend to have a real shower. Or if you lived in the bush, just tickle an elephant which just drank a lot of water. Well I wouldn’t bathe in the elephants pee.... I mean how does an elephant drink water – it snorts it up its "nose" right and then shoots it up its mouth? What if we could tickle it before it went down to the common ear nose and throat portion and then it would sneeze the water out on us dirty dirty humans. It may be a bit mucousy, but its better than bathing in pee right?

Just once do something useful, Babar

•  Jik is toxic if you put it inside you. Don’t do that. People insides are meant to look nice and shiny and  red. Not that I’ve ever seen a person’s insides. I mean I’m not one of those sick people that that kill other people and then cut them up to see what their insides look like. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Um. Yes Jik is toxic.The point is not what you do once you have killed someone, the point is the torment leading up to the killing. Much more fun. It just gets far too messy after that. And then you have this stinky body to deal with. How do you get rid of it? Acid? Cement blocks attached to the feet and a large lake? A blender? No, all pains in the neck. I would make a horrible serial killer because I am far too lazy.

I have only seen Dead Alive about a million times

• For all your ear cleaning needs, I am informed that you shouldn’t use earbuds inside your ear. They just push all that waxy wax deeper into your ear canals anyway, which could lead to blockage and one day, ear amputation and a resulting loss of balance.  They just cut your ears clean off. If you’re lucky, they cut off both, otherwise you’d just be walking in circles for the rest of your life. EARBUDS ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS! THAT’S A GODDAMM LIE! THOSE FUCKERS AT JOHNSON AND JOHNSON PULL THIS SHIT ALL THE TIME

I typed "Corporate evil"in google and this happened.

• Be careful about old persons snoring and strange noises. If an old person ever makes them then leans over to you and says, “I would like to have your soul now”, you must immediately invoke the name of Hastur and tell him/her to lay down in his name. I read it in a book once.

Hastur the Unspeakable. But if you type it, its fine.

The only really gross TMI story I can think of is this: (be warned- avoid if you have just eaten.) So this one time I really needed to pee and my uncle, who was a bit of a drunk told me he knew of this bar in this really seedy part of Stanger which was close by. Now obviously we were nowhere close to home. And it was clear my uncle wanted to get something to drink, rather than stop so I could relieve myself on the side of the road. So off we go, into this bar with no lights and shady looking characters and I ask the guy at the entrance where the bathroom was. He points to a rusty door on the far side of the room while I’m standing there trying not to burst through my pants. I did the Charlston method across the room- which is frankly the only way you can move when you are in said position to avoid unnecessary leakage. I open the door. The smell hits me first. Just rank, damp, fungousy smells and stale air, there were no windows. There was one stall and the urinals had plastic bags around them. I open the door to the stalls and there appeared to be brown writing on the walls, it looked smeared on. Not only that, the worst part was the actual bowl. It was piled to the top with a mixture of chocolate mousse and lemon juice. I cant even say the actual words, because I feel like throwing up just thinking about it. So what does a boy do in this position? He pees, with his eyes closed and his shirt over his face trying to cover his mouth and nose. I grew impressive chest hair that night, but the nightmares only stopped after a few days.

 No picture required for that last one

End

RB