Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now: Celebrity Pro Wrestling: Mecha Mandela versus Der Fuhrer Adolf Hitler!

Your Commentators : Jim Ross and Jerry "The King" Lawler

JR: All hell's gonna break loose tonight in this grudge match building up from Battle in the Afterlife.

King : That's right JR, last time these guys met, Der Fuhrer managed to pull off a victory against Mecha Mandela with help from outside. We just heard tonight though that the SS has been barred from assisting Der Fuhrer by the Chairman, Vince Mcmahon.

This is why I'm Hot

JR: Its gonna be a Slobberknocker!

Ring Announcer: Introducing First, the challenger! From Qunu, Eastern Cape Province South Africa, MECHAAAAAAAA MANNNNDELLLLLLLAAAAAA!

Sup

Ring Announcer: Annnnd, your Champion, from somewhere in Austria, DERRRRR FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHRERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Wat is zis bullshit?

King: And there's the bell!
JR: The two men starting out cautiously. They both remember what happened a few months back when they pushed themselves to the limit in a tables, ladders and peace accords match. By then end of that match both these warriors weren't even able to lift their beaten bodies up off the floor to sign the peace accord.
King: And now they have locked hands in a test of strength, Mecha Mandela seems to be getting the upper hand over Der Fuhrer.
JR: Oh but what a dirty trick, Der Fuhrer hits a "Heil to the Chief"! Raking Mecha Mandela's eyes and blinding him for the moment.

It works gut , ya?

King: Mandela calls upon his old boxing skills blindly throwing one two punches, like an angry Stevie Wonder, shots flying wildly from his fists which he himself calls "Truth" and "Reconciliation".

I will forgive you by breaking your face.

JR: Der Fuhrer sneaks out of the ring and grabs a table. Meanwhile Mecha Mandela is recovering from his blindness. Amandlaaaaa! He screams, working up the crowd. But Der Fuhrer, sensing a comeback, blindsides, no pun intended, Mecha Mandela with a 2 x 4. Mecha Mandela is knocked over the top rope and lands awkwardly on the hard concrete.
King: That's why hes champion JR, he never lets up! And he keeps pounding Mecha Mandela with the 2x4 and the refereee is powerless to stop it.
JR : Look Out, theres Desmond Tutu " the Archbishop" running down the ramp, and I don't think he's coming to partake in Communion.

Don't fuck wit me!

King: The Archbishop flies around the ring like a man possessed, and he flying body drops on top of Der Fuhrer! Oh What a move!
JR: Now he's chanting hymns at Mecha Mandela to get up and the crowd joins in. And Mandela sits up! The Crowd goes wild! Mecha Mandela leaps on top of Hitler aiming his elbow at his throat! Yes! His patented move the "Idris Elbow" connecting!

And suddenly he looks years younger

King: Oh but here's more interference, it’s the SS, the current tag team champions, and they're looking to put a hurting on the Archbishop, while Mecha Mandela is busy placing the Full Nelson submission hold on Der Fuhrer. But, the Archbishop fights back, lefts and rights swinging wildly, the priest will not go down. He has the Holy Spirit! And hes gonna put an Almighty smiting on the tag team champions!

You want slap?

King: Meanwhile Mecha Mandela drags Der Fuhrer back into the ring while the Archbishop and the SS fight their way to the back to the locker room. And I've got a feeling this one is almost over JR! I think he's going to finish it, he's going for the Long Drop to Freedom! Mecha Mandela climbs the top rope and yells as he performs the leg drop from the top-